The Mad Magazine Game Rulebook

Table of Contents

Table of Contents

• Object
• Equipment
• Set Up
• Playing
• Winning
• Board Spaces
  • START and Corners
  • Top Row (left to right as the board is printed)
  • Inner Top Track (left to right)
  • Right Side (top to bottom)
  • Bottom Row (right to left)
  • Left Side (bottom to top)
  • Inner Track (lower and middle rows)
• Cards
  • Card Faces

Object

To be the first player to lose all your money.

Hey, gang, this word is very important.

Equipment

1 game board, 2 dice, 4 playing pieces, play money, Card cards.

The play money bills shown on the scan are $500 (Five Hundred), $1,000 (One Thousand), $5,000 (Five Thousand) and $1,329,063 (One Million Three Hundred Twenty Nine Thousand Sixty Three) MAD Money.

Set Up

4. Shuffle the Card cards. Then create a draw pile by placing the Card cards face down on their space in the center of the board. (The center is in the middle.)

5. Select a player—preferably someone honest—to be the Banker. The Banker: c) separates the money by denomination; b) places 1 $500 bill under TOUGH LUCK; and a) hands each player 1 $5,000 bill, 4 $1,000 bills and 2 $500 bills, making a total of $10,000 for each player.

   (The scan prints the total as "$10,000" with an erroneous "$9,000" struck through; the corrected total is shown here.)

   The rest of the money belongs to the Bank. During the game, the Banker must not mix his or her money with the Bank's money.

6. Each player chooses a playing piece and places it onto START.

7. Each player rolls 1 die. The lucky dog who rolls the lowest goes first; play then proceeds, in turn, to the first player's right.

Playing

CAUTION: Play at your own risk—especially if you don't yet know the object of the game.

To start playing, roll both dice and move the number of spaces that you roll.

b) Roll only with your left hand. Whenever you roll with your right hand, each of your opponents gives you $500.

a) Move in a counterclockwise direction around the outside track. (If you move in a clockwise direction, you're a nerd person and may never play this game again.)

No matter what space you land on, follow its directions immediately.

A few of the spaces require explanation:

z) If you're told to take a Card card, take the top one and follow its directions immediately. Then return it, face up, to the bottom of the draw pile. Simple, right?

y) Unless you land on a double arrow, continue moving around the outside track.

x) If you land on a double arrow, immediately roll 1 die (with your left hand) and move according to your roll.

w) If you start your turn on an inner track, roll 1 die only.

v) ANYWHERE is one of the corner spaces on the board.

u) Suppose you're told to SEND EVERYONE ELSE TO ANYWHERE. First they all go there immediately. (That makes sense, doesn't it?) Then each—as his or her regular turn—rolls to go to START. After that, it's your turn again.

t) If you have to switch chairs, don't take your money with you. And speaking of money ($), the person who ends up in the Banker's chair becomes the Banker. For goodness sake, keep an eye on that person. Even in this game, cheating is a no-no!

s) Whenever some poor slob takes the money from under TOUGH LUCK, the Banker (whoever it is) immediately replaces that money with $500 from the Bank.

r) When you place your playing piece onto START at the beginning of the game, you lose no money; you lose only your sanity and/or your pride.*

(Temporary end of the section on board spaces)

As soon as the Card cards in the draw pile are all facing up, shuffle them, turn them face down and—if you feel like it—continue playing.

(Continuation of the section on board spaces)

Don't panic if you and your opponents find a board space or Card card to be confusing. Don't fight either. Take a vote and play according to the majority rule. (To most people, a majority is anything over 50%. However, because you're sufficiently intelligent and persistent to have read this far, you're clearly not most people. Therefore, to determine in your own mind what constitutes a majority, take a vote and decide according to the majority rule.)

Winning

The winner is the first player to lose all of his or her money.

This word is still very important.

The printed asterisk after "pride." is kept as printed. The Parker Brothers consumer-contact block on the same panel is omitted.

Board Spaces

The board is a single track of comic-panel spaces. The text on each space is transcribed below, grouped by side of the board. Some board text is printed upside down in the original layout and is read here in normal orientation.

START and Corners

• START (corner): Whenever you pass or land here, LOSE $500.
• ANYWHERE (corner): Roll 7, collect $500 and go to START. If you don't, just go to START.
• TOUGH LUCK (corner): If anything is under here, you gotta take it.
• PLACE $1000 UNDER TOUGH LUCK (corner): Place $1000 under TOUGH LUCK.

Top Row (left to right as the board is printed)

• Place $1000 under TOUGH LUCK.
• TAKE A CARD.
• If there is an opponent with elbows on the table, lose $2000. If not, lose $4000.
• Lose your turn or go ahead 27. (If your name is Alfred E. Neuman, forget it!)
• Send everyone else to ANYWHERE.
• Must gamble! Roll dice: everything you have. ODD—win twice as much. EVEN—lose everything, but collect $1500.
• If no one is standing, you LOSE $1000. If someone is standing, you WIN $2000.
• Go back to START and go the total of 3 rolls backwards.
• Note: If any space on this board sounds confusing, take a vote and play according to majority rule.

Inner Top Track (left to right)

• Take a walk to ANYWHERE.
• GO AHEAD ONE.
• Place $500 under TOUGH LUCK.
• TAKE A CARD.
• GO TO ANY DOUBLE ARROW SPACE.
• One of your $1000 is counterfeit. Return to Bank.
• TAKE A CARD.
• Go ahead seven.

Right Side (top to bottom)

• TAKE A CARD.
• To enter, land here and roll one die. (Red double arrows.)
• Everyone moves one chair to the left.
• Everyone else moves 1 space back and does what it says.
• If your name is Alfred E. Neuman, collect $1,329,063. If not, lose a turn.
• TAKE A CARD.
• Send anyone to TOUGH LUCK.
• Exchange money with person on right.
• TAKE A CARD.
• ANYWHERE (corner).

Bottom Row (right to left)

• Change money with the person on your left.
• Wait right here for another player to pass you... and then move with him or her.
• TAKE A CARD.
• If someone is smiling, go back 3 spaces. If no one is smiling, go ahead 3 spaces.
• Old Maid: Stay right here until someone rolls a one or seven.
• TAKE A CARD.
• Everyone moves one chair to the right.
• TOUGH LUCK (corner).

Left Side (bottom to top)

• Change money with anyone.
• TAKE A CARD.
• To enter, land here and roll one die. (Red double arrows.)
• Go ahead the total of one die.
• Go back the total of one die.
• Change money with anyone.
• Send anyone to TOUGH LUCK.
• TAKE A CARD.
• Go back to START and then go the total of 3 rolls. (When you get to the end, take a "U" turn.)
• PLACE $1000 UNDER TOUGH LUCK (corner).

Inner Track (lower and middle rows)

The spaces of the inner track are listed in the order they were read from the scan, not as a verified sequence.

• To enter, land here and roll one die. (Red double arrows.)
• TAKE A CARD.
• One of your $1000 is counterfeit. Return to Bank.
• Take top card (don't peek!) and give it to anyone else.
• TAKE A CARD.
• This is the "GLASSES" SPACE: pay $500 and "look" at the top card.
• GO TO TOLEDO, OHIO*: *If the bus has already left, stay where you are and pay $500 for train tickets.
• If you are "MAGNIFICENT," go to ANYWHERE.
• Everyone move one chair to the right.
• Everyone move one chair to the left.
• Go ahead four.
• TAKE A CARD.
• Go to ANYWHERE.
• GO TO ANY DOUBLE ARROW SPACE.
• One of your $2000 is counterfeit. Return to Bank.
• TAKE A CARD.
• Everyone move one chair to the left.
• To enter, land here and roll one die. (Red double arrows.)

Scan note: the board's comic art carries no text on several spaces, so those spaces are not listed. Some spaces with partial text were read from the scan's rotated printing; the "Board Spaces" section is a text transcription of the board, not a map.

Cards

The Card cards are a deck of cards with printed directions. The directions on the cards shown in the scan are transcribed below. The scan shows 24 card faces.

Card Faces

1. CHANGE MONEY WITH THE PERSON ON YOUR LEFT.
2. THIS CARD CAN ONLY BE PLAYED ON FRIDAY.
3. IF YOU ARE A GIRL PERSON, LOSE $1000.
4. CHANGE CHAIRS WITH ANYONE.
5. YOU ARE A ROCK. ACT LIKE ONE. IF YOU'RE GOOD, YOU LOSE $1000. IF YOU'RE NOT SO GOOD, YOU WIN A ROCK.
6. GO AHEAD THE TOTAL ON ONE DIE.
7. STAND UP AND BOO THE PERSON ON YOUR LEFT. ALSO LOSE $1000.
8. IF YOU ARE GOOD LOOKING, STAND UP AND IMITATE YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL, AND LOSE $2000.
9. IF YOU CAN JUMP UP AND STAY AIRBORNE FOR 37 SECONDS, YOU CAN LOSE $5000. IF NOT, JUMP UP AND LOSE $500.
10. PUT THIS CARD ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD AND WALK AROUND THE TABLE BACKWARDS. IF IT DOESN'T FALL OFF BEFORE YOU SIT DOWN, YOU LOSE $1000.
11. GO TO ANY DOUBLE ARROW SPACE.
12. PUT $1000 UNDER TOUGH LUCK.
13. TAKE THE NEXT CARD. DON'T PEEK AND GIVE IT TO ANYONE ELSE.
14. CHANGE MONEY WITH THE PERSON ON YOUR RIGHT.
15. IF YOU ARE A BOY PERSON, WIN $500.
16. IF YOU ARE A GIRL PERSON, WIN $500.
17. FLIP THIS CARD UP IN THE AIR. IF IT LANDS WITH THIS SIDE FACE UP, YOU LOSE $1000. IF NOT, GO TO TOUGH LUCK.
18. IF ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING LETTERS ARE IN YOUR NAME, YOU LOSE THE AMOUNT INDICATED: G $500, O $1000, A $1000, T $2000. HOWEVER, BEING A GOAT, YOU WIN $500 ANYWAY.
19. IF YOU LIKE THIS GAME, CROSS YOUR LEGS, SIT ON YOUR HANDS, CACKLE LIKE A CHICKEN AND LOSE 1 EGG. ALSO $500.
20. CHANGE MONEY WITH ANYONE.
21. IF YOU ARE A BOY PERSON, LOSE $1000.

Scan note: the card numbers above are added for reference and are not printed. Card 18 and card 23 print the letters as boxed tiles with the amount under each.