Gay Monopoly Rulebook

Table of Contents

Table of Contents

• Object
• Equipment
• Preparation
• STONEWALL SAVINGS
• The Banker
• Beginning Play
• Purchasing Properties
• Paying Rent
• Playing Cards
  • Family Pride
  • Manhipulation
  • Ollie's Sleaze Bag
  • Wilde Cards
  • Camp Cards
• Hard Assets Tax
• Straight City
• Just Cruisin' By
• Gay America Rest Space
• Property Improvements
  • Bars
  • Bathhouses
• Mortgages
• Wheeling and Dealing
• Bankruptcy
• Suggestions for Short Games
• Postscript

Object

The object of the game is to WIN. Even a straight hairdresser could understand that. On the surface that means driving your opponents into bankruptcy, leaving you as the ultimate Gay Realtor - or Queen of Mountain if you prefer. Of course, just like cruising, there are endless subtleties. Some strive to dominate while others long to surrender.

Equipment

(Equipage to the less fortunate) By now you no doubt have checked out all the "game equipment" brought along by the other players, so this inventory should be a snap: one gameboard, 6 tokens, 2 dice, 30 bars (silver bar tokens), and 12 bathhouses. There are three sets of playing cards, a Property Title card for each gay street, utility and disco on the board and gay play money divided into seven very tasteful, color-coordinated denominations (thank you!).

Preparation

This includes such mundane items as putting all cards face down on the gameboard and allotting each player his starting cash: two $500s, two $100s, two $50s, five $20s, five $10s, five $3s and five $1s. The balance of the money goes into the black STONEWALL SAVINGS money tray for distribution during play by the Banker. So much for the mechanics. Let's get real. This is GAY MONOPOLY™ and the really important preparations include such things as straightening your harness, unbuttoning the right button on your 501s and making sure you're sitting next to the color group on the game board which best complements your eyes. Other crucial items are picking a token most expressive of your current (or au courant) mood, taking a little of whatever keeps you from nodding off at the big moments in life, and checking your watch to see how much time you have before the trade gets hot in the Naugahyde room of your favorite leather bar.

STONEWALL SAVINGS

This is our own gay bank. In the game it has several functions. It holds all Property Title cards, bars, bathhouses and money not owned by players. STONEWALL SAVINGS is also the source of payouts directed by the cards and the recipient of all penalty monies and taxes paid unless specifically stated otherwise.

In one respect STONEWALL SAVINGS is just like the federal government - it never goes bust (as any gay Libertarian would be glad to tell you over and over again). If ever it runs out of money, simply select the designer among you to make more. Just make sure you tell her you're into Minimalism or you might be in for a long wait.

The Banker

You must select one of the players to be Banker. Since the Banker must handle all of STONEWALL SAVINGS transactions as well as auction the properties and improvements whenever necessary, choose this person carefully. A good choice would be someone who watches Let's Make A Deal often or perhaps a player who frequents S&M slave auctions. If no one fits these descriptions, at least, get someone who occasionally buys his own drinks. If you are still without a candidate, just settle for anyone who enjoys deposits and withdrawals and who looks just DIVINE wearing nothing but a banker's visor. With this last cutie, make sure she keeps her hands out of the till. She is likely to have had so many sugardaddies that she will confuse her own cash with that of the Bank.

Beginning Play

Starting with the youngest-looking player (Determining this may take FOR DAYS! Just make sure you demand proper lighting. And, honey, don't let some twinkie tell you that daylight is anything but outre.) and proceeding to the left, each player rolls two dice. The first player to roll a 6 or 9 begins play by rolling again and advancing his token clockwise away from STONEWALL SAVINGS the number of spaces indicated on the dice. The dice then pass in turn to the players on the left.

When a player rolls doubles, he gets another turn. If, however, a player rolls doubles three times in a row, send him directly to STRAIGHT CITY for being such a pig.

Two or more players may be on a space at the same time. That's what brotherhood is all about. Sometimes a bit kinky but definitely interesting.

Depending on the space a player lands upon, he may purchase real estate if the property is not owned or pay rent if it does have an owner. On other spaces a player must draw game cards, pay taxes, receive money, advance to another space or just take a rest (heaven only knows some of them need it).

Every time a player lands on or passes over STONEWALL SAVINGS during the course of play, he withdraws $203 from the Bank. If a player passes STONEWALL SAVINGS on one turn and lands on Ollie's Sleaze Bag and draws a card advancing him to STONEWALL SAVINGS, he collects another $203. For some, once is never enough.

Purchasing Properties

You may need help from your local Gay Realtor to understand this section. You say you don't know one. Just click your heels and say "escrow" three times and one will appear as if by magic.

When a player lands on an unowned property, he may purchase the title to it for the price printed on the gameboard. The player pays the purchase price to the Bank and receives the Property Title Card which he places face-up in front of him on the game table.

If the player landing on the space decides not to buy the property, the Banker holds an auction and sells the property to the highest bidder. There is no minimum bid. Even the player who landed on the space and elected not to purchase the property may change her mind and bid during the auction - some girls are just so fickle!

Paying Rent

Whenever a player lands on a property which another player already owns, he must pay rent to the owner according to the rent schedule listed on the front of the Property Title card. No rent is paid, however, if the property is mortgaged when the player lands on it. All mortgaged properties should have their Property Title cards turned face down in front of their owner.

When all properties in a single color group (eg. Christopher Street and Fire Island or Cedar Springs Road, Westheimer Street, and Bourbon Street) are owned by the same player, the rent doubles on all UNIMPROVED properties in that color group.

If there is a player in the game who is so dizzy that he forgets to ask for rent on one of his properties before the next person rolls the dice, the bozo forfeits the right to collect rent on that turn. Time and quick-dry nail polish wait for no woman.

Playing Cards

Family Pride

The Pink Triangle as a symbol for gay people originated in Nazi Germany. While many people know that Jews were herded into concentration camps during the Third Reich and required to wear armbands with a yellow Star of David, very few people, including some gays, realize that countless gay people were also sent to the same camps and forced to wear armbands bearing a Pink Triangle before they, too, were sent to their deaths.

In memory of those gays who were persecuted and murdered, not only by the Fascists, but in every country in every era, gay people today have taken the Pink Triangle as their own symbol. It has become a proud emblem of our dignity.

In spite of the most ferocious persecution and discrimination against any group in all history, the cultural contributions of gay men and women have been without equal. In the hope that gay people will learn more about their illustrious gay family members, we have created the Family Pride cards.

When a player lands on the Family Pride space, he takes the top card on the Family Pride deck and reads aloud the description of the famous gay man pictured on the back. If the player can then correctly identify his gay forefather, he may advance to any space he wishes on the board. This should be a great help to players trying to complete color groups. There is no penalty for incorrect answers.

NOTE: There have been thousands of gay people at the pinnacle of human achievement and we could only select a few. We tried to get a good mix of nationalities, professions and time periods but even then the choice was almost impossible. A proverbial embarassment of riches. Ancient Greeks and Romans were not included because almost every notable figure was either gay or bisexual. In fact, among the ancient Greeks, heterosexuals were thought too flighty and unstable for civil service. We encourage you to learn more about gay people and make up additional cards using your own favorites. If you have trouble finding books about famous gays in your local bookstore or library, just write Ollie and he'll send you a whole list of them.

Manhipulation

Have you ever laid back and wondered what that hanky color meant just as a new friend was hanging his 501s on your bedroom door. Well, here's your chance to learn an easier way. When a player lands on the MANHIPULATION space, he takes the top card and trys to give a correct description of that hanky color's meaning when worn on both the right and left side. The player then flips the card over - if he was right, he receives $69, but if he was wrong, he must pay STONEWALL SAVINGS $69. As we all know, MANHIPULATION has its costs as well as its rewards.

Ollie's Sleaze Bag

Whenever a player lands on one of the four Ollie's Sleaze Bag spaces, he takes the top card from the deck and follows the instructions. Remember, no matter how twisted or dizzy a player might be, he must always advance his token CLOCKWISE to wherever the card instructs him to move. If the player passes STONEWALL SAVINGS while advancing his token, he withdraws $203 as he passes. However, anytime a player is directed to GO STRAIGHT TO STRAIGHT CITY, he puts his token directly in the STRAIGHT CITY corner arrow without passing STONEWALL SAVINGS.

Only the Get Out of Straight City Free card may be kept until needed or sold by its owner for whatever the market will bear.

Wilde Cards

When a Wilde Card is drawn, roll a single die and then, according to the number you roll, follow the instruction on the card. For some Camp Cards a die must also be rolled.

Camp Cards

Whenever a Camp Card is drawn it's time to cut loose and let your gay spirit shine. Some will need no prodding. The others will just have to get over themselves. Any attempt wins no matter how much prompting is needed. Only those who won't try get 86d into STRAIGHT CITY. These cards form the heart of GAY MONOPOLY™ and you should add as many as you can think of. The possibilities are limitless and should be hilarious in any well-lubricated group.

Hard Assets Tax

When a player lands on the HARD ASSETS TAX space he must act quickly. First, he must say the word FAAAAA .. BULOUS. Before he finishes, he must decide to do one of two things: (1) he may immediately pay STONEWALL SAVINGS $203 or (2) he may total up the value of all his hard (semi-hard is OK later in the game) assets and pay a 10% tax on that total. This total includes all cash on hand, the printed prices of all the properties he owns, both mortgaged and unmortgaged, and the cost to him of all his bars and bathhouses.

Straight City

Sometimes called "The Land of the Living Dead" or just "New Jersey" for short, STRAIGHT CITY is also a state of mind, actually no-mind is more like it. Remember these are the people who read the National Enquirer or watch twelve weekend ballgames to add "excitement" to their lives. A player ends up in STRAIGHT CITY by .. . (1) landing on the space marked GO STRAIGHT TO STRAIGHT CITY ... (2) drawing a card directing him there ... (3) by rolling doubles three times in succession, or ... (4) by refusing to act out a Camp Card (Is there no shame?).

Escaping STRAIGHT CITY is a bit tricky (so to speak). A player must roll a 6 or 9 on one of his next three turns. If, by the third turn, he still hasn't come up with a 6 or 9, he must pay STONEWALL SAVINGS $69. He may then move his token into the JUST CRUISIN' BY space and continue normal play on his next turn. If it takes someone this long to roll a 6 or 9, he might justly be suspected of harboring latent heterosexual tendencies. Check him out carefully. Make sure those are really designer panty hose he is wearing.

A player may also escape STRAIGHT CITY by using the Coming Out Card if he possesses (try saying that without a lisp) it. It may be purchased from another player at any time.

As in the "real" world, a player caught in STRAIGHT CITY maintains the illusion of life. He may buy and sell properties, bars and bathhouses as well as collect rents as usual.

Just Cruisin' By

This space is definitely separate from STRAIGHT CITY even though it is connected to it. When you land here you have nothing to do but wait for your next turn. It's like visiting relatives or going to a straight job. They're tolerable only because you know you'll return to Gay America soon.

Gay America Rest Space

When you land here just take a rest and dream a little dream with Ollie. Our dreams make Gay America what it is and what it will become. And we have only just begun. Pitch in and help and you too may become a Family Pride card one day.

Property Improvements

Once a player owns all the properties in a color group, he can really take a shot at becoming a gay tycoon by improving these properties with bars and bathhouses - the source of all good things in Gay America. There is only a limited number of bars and bathhouses and, unlike the game money, no more should be created or the bankruptcy mechanism of the game won't work.

Bars

The rules for erecting (don't faint, Blanche) bars are:

• Bars are purchased only from the Bank according to the price schedule on each Property Title Card.
• BARS MUST BE BUILT EVENLY - this means one bar must be placed on each property of a color group before a second bar may be placed on any property in that group. The same holds true for the second, third and fourth bars.
• Building evenly is required only for the properties within a single color group. What you build on one color group doesn't affect how you build on the other color groups you own. You may have many bars or bathhouses on one color group and none at all on another color group.
• When a player sells bars back to STONEWALL SAVINGS he must do so EVENLY in exactly the reverse manner in which they were built up.

Bathhouses

The rules for erecting (calm yourself, Blanche) bathhouses are:

• Once a player has four bars on a property he is really ready for the gay big time because he may then turn the bars back into STONEWALL SAVINGS and purchase a bathhouse according to the price schedule on the Property Title card.
• Only one bathhouse may be erected on any one gay street or resort - enough is enough!

Being ever faithful to reality, bar and bathhouse erections (Blanche, Blanche!) are possible at any time. It need not be your turn when you buy and sell bars and bathhouses. Opportunity might not come again. He might fall asleep.

If ever there are too few bars or bathhouses in STONEWALL SAVINGS to meet the demands of the players wanting to purchase them, the Banker then holds an auction and sells them one by one to the highest bidder.

Whenever bars or bathhouses are sold back to STONEWALL SAVINGS, the seller receives only ONE-HALF the purchase price printed on the Property Title card.

Bathhouses may be sold back to STONEWALL SAVINGS directly or they may be exchanged for four houses and sold back evenly, one piece at a time.

Mortgages

If a player runs short of money - you know the type, the one whose arms retract when the check arrives - he may mortgage UNIMPROVED properties through STONEWALL SAVINGS for the mortgage value printed on the Property Title card. But before a property can be mortgaged, all bars and bathhouses on all the properties in its color group must be sold back to STONEWALL SAVINGS at one-half their purchase price.

While a property is mortgaged no rent may be collected when another player lands on that space, although any unmortgaged properties in the same group receive their usual rent. This includes DISCO's and the two gay utilities, the HUNKY POWER COMPANY and OSCAR'S WILDE WATERWORKS.

Properties may be mortgaged to raise cash for any reason including the purchase of other properties.

When a player wants to lift a mortgage he must pay STONEWALL SAVINGS the amount of the mortgage plus an additional 10% interest for the loan. A player may not again buy bars for any of the properties in a color group until all mortgages in that group have been lifted.

Let's face it, girlfriend, scumbags with covetous eyes are everywhere (usually trying to steal your current boyfriend) but do not fear for your mortgaged properties. No player may acquire one of your mortgaged properties just by lifting the mortgage before you do. However, a mortgaged property may be sold or traded to another player just like any unmortgaged property. The purchaser may lift the mortgage immediately by paying STONEWALL SAVINGS the mortgage value plus 10% or he may wait to do so at a later date.

Wheeling and Dealing

As the game progresses, players will collect properties from various color groups but be unable to put property improvements on some of them because they won't own all the properties in a single group. At this point the game becomes very interesting indeed. At anytime players may sell or trade properties between themselves in private transactions - a gay specialty. These deals are left up to the fevered imaginations of the players, there are only two restrictions:

• A player may not sell or trade a property with bars or bathhouses standing on it. Any bars or bathhouses on the property must be sold back to STONEWALL SAVINGS before any sale or trade of the property can be made. Remember, you receive only one-half the purchase price.
• No money may ever be loaned or given (for some there is no distinction) to one player from another. A player may borrow money only from STONEWALL SAVINGS and then only when he mortgages a property.

Private transactions are especially helpful between pairs of players a little down on their luck who are being taken advantage of by some rich old queen with a few bathhouses and a truckload of attitude. Sisterhood can be so helpful at times.

Bankruptcy

(Or Streetcar Revisited) Power being a potent aphrodisiac, many players are likely to become quite agitated as the game proceeds. Some will build gay empires. The fortunes of others will go into decline. As with any aging diva, once decline sets in, the avalanche (and numerous face lifts) is usually not far behind. When a player starts with her Blanche DuBois imitations you can be assured bankruptcy is imminent. Depending on the kindness of strangers in this game is as likely as having fun at a straight Halloween party.

Bankruptcy occurs when a player lands on a space and is required to pay either another player or STONEWALL SAVINGS more cash than he can raise by selling or mortgaging his assets.

If the player's debt is to another player, his submission is complete (this should really excite some) and he must surrender to the other player all his current assets - no doubt then retiring to the veranda to sip mint juleps and await the victor's pleasure. Before this last act begins and the orchestra starts the Swan Song, the bankrupt player must first sell any bars and bathhouses he owns back to STONEWALL SAVINGS for one-half the purchase price and then give the proceeds from this sale to his creditor.

All properties owned by the bankrupt player are turned directly over to his creditor who may lift the mortgages either immediately or at a later time by paying STONEWALL SAVINGS the mortgage price plus 10%.

When a player goes bankrupt by being unable to fully pay a debt to STONEWALL SAVINGS his ending is a much tidier affair. The bankrupt player simply returns all his assets to STONEWALL SAVINGS, straightens his harness, tightens his chaps and retires to the parlor to finish his needlepoint. Once she's out of sight, STONEWALL SAVINGS immediately sells at auction all the properties which it received except for the buildings.

The last player remaining wins. Like any self-respecting victor, he summons his victims and does with them as he will. (O, Mary, how BUTCH can you get!)

Suggestions for Short Games

1. Everyone take Uppers.
2. Everyone take Downers - the play won't be fast but no one will care.
3. When you feel like hitting either the bars or baths simply announce: "I just found a crab on my lap." This is also good if you are winning but feel the tide is turning against you.
4. Invite only Munchkins to play.
5. Before beginning, deal each player two or more Property Title cards and then proceeed as usual.
6. Set a time limit with the richest or most twisted player at that time declared the winner.
7. Play with people from Straight City. The game might not be short but you'll get a nice nap out of it.

Postscript

We tried our best to include as much of gay life in the game as possible but Gay America today is so incredibly rich and varied that we had to be selective. Our wonderful Lesbian sisters were not included because we didn't feel justice could be done their own rich culture and tradition without making a separate game. Therefore, LESBIAN MONOPOLY is on its way with a whole raft of super ladies creating it.

Also, there was only room on the gameboard for the more prominent streets and resorts. MAIN STREET, Dubuque, is a symbol of all the other places everywhere across the nation where our gay family lives. This game is very much theirs as well.