Fairy Meat

Fairy Meat Rulebook

Table of Contents

About the Game

Fairy Meat is a miniatures war game played on a tabletop, or a floor, or a sidewalk, or on the belly of very large, sleeping lion, or really anywhere else you care to play it. Unlike traditional miniatures war games, Fairy Meat is played on a 1:1 scale. Simply put, the fairy "miniatures" are the actual size of real fairies! And since the game represents the actions of fairies in the modern world it can be played most anywhere. (We do not recommend playing Fairy Meat on those conveyer belt thingies at the check-out counter of a supermarket because…well, we think you know why. And you do know why.)

What You Will Need

The Fairy Meat Fast Play Rules are designed to teach you the basic concepts of the Fairy Meat game and to allow you to jump right in with minimal preparation. You will, however, need to do some work on your own (Hey, we can't do everything for you! Jeez!).

Players: Two or more players. It is recommended that all players be willing participants of the game especially if kidnapping and forcing someone to play a game with you is in violation of your local laws.
Fairy cards and counters: A sheet of four fairy cards is provided with these rules. You are permitted to photocopy them for your own personal use. You'll need one card per fairy. You'll also need three different kinds of counters: one type for Live Counters, one type for Kill Counters and one type for Twinkle Counters. You can use buttons, glass beads or even toenail clippings. To represent the fairies you can use any fantasy miniatures. Kenzer and Company manufacturers a complete line of pewter Fair Meat miniatures and the Fairy Meat main rulebook comes with full color cardstock fairies.
Measuring device: Although a tape measure is often the easiest and most practical method of measuring distance and movement in the game you are free to come up with your own elaborate methods. A long earthworm with lines drawn on it with magic marker to denote inches is a wonderful method.
A place to play: Hey we already told you, you can play Fairy Meat basically anywhere!

(The source booklet's fifth page is a printed sheet of four blank fairy cards, labelled Name, Life, Meat and Weapons. It is a component image and is not reproduced here.)

Terminology

Just so we're all speaking the same language, look over this list of basic game terms. Don't worry if you don't understand them all yet because they will all be explained in greater detail later.

Fairy Deck: Use any deck of standard playing cards with the jokers left in the deck. You'll use the Fairy Deck for resolving attacks and other random events in the game.
Order Cards: At the start of each combat round you draw one Order Card for each fairy you control, which represents when in the turn she can do her thing.
Fairy Cards: They're included with these Fast Play Rules. You have to have one for each fairy. You should probably photocopy them before cutting them up.
Live Points: Each fairy starts with a certain number of Live Points which are tracked with counters in the Life section of her Fairy Card. These represent how well the fairy can defend against attacks.
Kill Points: Like Live Points, fairies have a certain starting level of Kill Points depending on the type of fairy. These points represent how potent of an attack she can mount.
Twinkle Points: These points fuel fairy magic.
Fairy Points: This is a collective term used to quantify the combined total of a fairy's usable Live Points and Kill Points.
Meat Points: This is a collective term used to quantify the combined total of a fairy's Live Points and Kill Points which, generally through combat damage, have been moved into the meat section of her Fairy Card.
Turn: The period of time during which each individual fairy acts is her turn.
Round: The total time for all players to act once with all of their fairies is a round. The game is measured in numbers of rounds.

The Fairy Deck

The Fairy Deck consists of a standard poker deck with both jokers still in the deck. Each card is ranked by its numerical face value, two through ten. Aces, King, Queens and Jacks are called Trump Cards and have a special effect on the game.

Drawing Hands: During combat, attacking fairies draw a number of cards equal to their available Kill Points and defending fairies draw a number of cards equal to their available Live Points. Kill and Live Points are not available if they are in the Meat section of the Fairy Card.

Both players lay down one numerical card face down as their main card and put any number of trump cards as support cards behind it. Each trump card adds +1 to the value of the face card. For example, an 8 with two trump cards is considered a 10. Results are compared with the higher total winning the contest.

Wild Trumps: If a player places a trump card as his main card it is considered a wild trump. (Note: he may still put any number of other trumps down as support cards.) When the wild trump is revealed that player draws a card from the Fairy Deck and places it on top of the wild trump. If that drawn card is a trump then the process continues until a number is drawn. The value of the wild trump is equal to the numerical card drawn +1 for each trump card beneath it.

Let's Play the Friggin' Game Already!

Selecting Figures: We recommend you use the mini-scenario included at the end of these Fast Play Rules. But you can start with basically any type of fairy warband as long as the points don't exceed the pre-agreed total. Set up your fairies in accordance with the scenario instructions or just plop 'em anywhere if you're not using a scenario.

What can I do during a turn? Every time a fairy acts during a combat round it's called her turn. During a fairy's turn she can move, attack and Twinkle (use magic) in any order. She can move and attack only once but she may Twinkle as many times as she desires as long as she has enough Twinkle Points to pay for the spells. A fairy may also eat meat during her turn (see below for details and restrictions).

The Round Order

Order cards drawn: Someone shuffles the Fairy Deck (you can call dibs, or shotgun it or just plain bully other players if you really want to do the shuffling). Each player draws one Order Card for each fairy he controls and places it next to the corresponding Fairy Card. You should put them face down so the other players don't know when your fairies will be acting. If a you draw a joker for your Order Card you may take your turn anytime you want simply by shouting out an obscene word during the countdown and revealing your joker. If two or more players reveal the same Order Card simultaneously (that means "at the same time") then those players – and only those players – redraw among themselves to determine who acts first during that turn.
Thinking: Fairies do not like to spend much time in this mundane, boring activity but desperate times call for desperate measures. A fairy may spend Twinkle Points (by moving Twinkle Point counters from the Live section of the Fairy Card to the Meat section), exchanging each point for an extra Order Card. The fairy may still only act once during the round but she has more options as to when she may take her turn.
Taking turns: Somebody should count down from King to Ace. When a player hears the card value which equals his Order Card he may either keep his lips sealed and wait or he may reveal his Order Card and take his turn. Once the countdown gets down to Ace, it starts up again back to King. If you waited during the descending countdown, you must act when your Order Card is called during the ascending countdown. If you bought extra Order Cards during Thinking, you may take one turn only but may do so when any one of your Order Cards is called. During a fairy's turn she may move and attack and Twinkle in any order. See below for details on each.
The round is over! Start a new one.

The Measuring Rule

In general, you can never pre-measure anything in Fairy Meat. If you don't know whether a fairy is in range of your bow or whether you can pounce on another fairy, you must commit to the action before you measure.

Movement

All movement in Fairy Meat is measured in inches. The mode of movement you select determines the maximum horizontal distance your fairy can move as well as the maximum altitude she can achieve during that movement. A fairy may change facing at any time during movement as many times as she likes. Although all fairies fly when they move, they always end their turn back on a solid surface. Hovering just tuckers them out too quickly.

Movement modes:

Pose: The fairy doesn't move (POSER!). Posing gives +1 card bonus to attackers in combat.
Pounce: 3" max horizontal move and 12" max altitude.
Frolic: 6" max horizontal move and 6" max altitude.
Flutter: 12" max horizontal move and 3" max altitude. Fluttering gives a –1 card penalty to attackers in combat.

Dragging Loot: Fairies can drag things off the play field (dead bodies for some late night munching or other items scenarios dictate). Dragging reduces a fairy's horizontal move and altitude by one half. Dragging an amount of meat (add up the meat points of the dead fairy) which is less than half of the acting fairy's Fairy Points plus Meat Points (round up) doesn't affect movement.

Combat

Since it goes without saying that no fairy wants to be gobbled up, the little rascals have to kill each other just to get a bite to eat! In Fairy Meat there are two basic attacks: hand-to-hand and ranged. A fairy may not attack unless she has at least one Kill Point on her Fairy Card. A defending fairy receives one extra card if she still has her Order Card left. This "one card" rule applies even if she has no Live Points or if a modifier has reduced her number of cards drawn to zero or less.

Hand-To-Hand

A fairy may attack another fairy using hand-to-hand if she is in base-to-base contact with her. She simply declares the attack then draws a number of cards equal to her Kill Points plus or minus any modifiers. The defending fairy then draws a number of cards equal to her Live Points plus or minus any modifiers. Results are compared (see The Fairy Deck above). If the attacker fairy's total is greater than the defender fairy's then the defender moves one point (Live or Kill, her choice) from the Life section of her Fairy Card to the Meat Section.

Jokers: If a player uses a joker as his main card in hand-to-hand combat then either the attacker takes one point of damage or the defender heals one point of damage. The decision is made by the player who played the joker. If a player uses a joker as his main card in ranged combat then either the weapons misses completely or it hits any other figure in the attacker's line of sight. The decision is made by the defending player.

Nasty Hits: If the attacker's total exceeds the defender's by five or more, the defender takes two points of damage instead of one. If the attacker's total exceeds the defender's by nine or more, the defender takes three points of damage.

Swords and Manglers: If the attacking fairy is using a sword and the defending player is not, the attacker gets +1 card. If the attacking fairy is using a mangler weapon, points of damage are removed from the game rather than moved to the Meat section of the Fairy Card.

Ranged Attacks

Hey, some fairies just don't like to get their hands dirty so they use ranged weapons. Ranged combat is nearly identical to hand-to-hand except for the following three points:

The attacker must have a line of sight to the defender. If you have trouble determining line of sight try using a piece of string going from the attacking model's head to the defending model.
Attacking fairies draw a number of cards equal to the weapon's strength, not their Kill Points.
Ranged weapons have a range (duh!) in inches. Defender's outside of that range can't be hit.

Twinkling

Not to be confused with tinkling, Twinkling is the use of fairy magic. A fairy can Twinkle as many times as she likes during her turn as long as she has enough Twinkle Points to pay for all the spells she wants to use. Just as with ranged combat, a fairy must have line of sight to her target. Spells have unlimited range.

Twinkle Points: Twinkle points are moved from the Life section of the Fairy Card to the Meat section when they are used (but they are not considered to be meat). During combat, after cards are drawn but before they are laid, a player may discard any number of trump cards from his hand to regenerate one Twinkle point per trump on his fairy. Twinkle points may only be regenerated from the Meat section of the Fairy Card, not added to the Fairy Card. A player may also give up her attack to regain one Twinkle Point.

Sweet vs. Mean: When a fairy is selected before a scenario begins, you must decide if she is going to cast sweet or mean magic. Once selected, it can never be changed.

Jokers: If a spell requires card drawing and a Joker is drawn, the spell is immediately cancelled and is "re-cast" for free as if the target fairy were casting it!

Eating Meat

In place of either attacking and/or moving, a fairy may eat meat from a dead fairy. If she gives up both attacking and moving, she may eat twice. For each bite, the eating fairy may take one Live or Kill Point from the Meat section of the dead fairy's Fairy Card and put it in the Life section of her own Fairy Card. Twinkle Points may not be gained in this manner. No matter how much fairy meat is eaten, a fairy may never have more than 12 Fairy Points in the Life section of her Fairy Card.

Types of Fairies

Wild Fairy (14 point cost, 3 Kill Points, 3 Live Points, 1 Twinkle Point).
Glitter Fairy (11 point cost, 2 Kill Points, 2 Live Points, 4 Twinkle Points). At the start of every turn, after Thinking but before Order Cards a Glitter Fairy may regenerate one used Twinkle Point.
Seasoned Fairy (17 point cost, 4 Kill Points, 3 Live Points, 3 Twinkle Points).

Weapons and Spells

Ranged Fairy Weapons

Weapon	Range	Strength	Point Cost	Special
Fairy-shot Bow	24"	1	5	–
Brownie Bow	36"	2	8	–
Black Wand	infinite	2	11	mangler

Hand-to-hand Fairy Weapons

Weapon	Defense Modifier	Attack Modifier	Point Cost	Special
Fairy Knife	–	+1	1	–
Moon Dagger	–	+2	2	–
Ripper	-1	+2	3	mangler
Sprite Carver	-2	–	6	sword

Sweet Magic Spells

Point Cost	Spell	Effect
1	Wind-up	+4" move & altitude on target fairy's next move. +2" per additional Twinkle Point spent.
2	Shimmer	Shimmer force field.Target fairy gets +2 card bonus to Live-based draws until the start of her next turn. +1 card bonus per additional Twinkle Point spent.

Mean Magic Spells

Point Cost	Spell	Effect
1	Wing Bind	Target fairy's move & altitude halved on her next turn.
2	Rose Prick	Large thorn attacks target fairy. 1-card attack. +1 card bonus per additional Twinkle Point spent.

Attack Modifiers

Circumstance	Modifier
Target in partial cover (ranged only)	Defender receives +1 card
Attacker posed	Attacker receives +1 card
Attacker fluttered	Attacker receives –1 card
Weapon attack modifiers	Attacker receives +1 card per "plus" of the weapon
Weapon defense modifiers	Defender receives –1 card per "minus" of the weapon
One Card Rule	Defending fairy who has not yet had her turn receives +1 card

Scenario

It's Raining Meat (2 to 6 players)

The Fairies: Each player chooses 75-points of fairies/weapons/spells.
Playing Area: 4' x 4' or larger peppered with plenty of terrain.
Setting Up: Players draw Order Cards and take turn, in order, placing their fairies one at a time anywhere in the play area. Fairies my not be placed within 16" of enemy fairies.
The Battle: The game ends after eight rounds, or when only one player's fairies remain on the field. The player with the highest point total at the end of the scenario wins.
Points:
- Each fairy killed: 4 points
- Each point of Meat a player's fairies eat: 1 point

Going Further

If you enjoyed these Fast Play Rules, do check out the Fairy Meat main rulebook and learn about the following additional game rules: rushing, pouncing, wrestling, multiple attacks, Ace of Spades rule, riot weapons, frenzy, zapping Twinkle Points, treachery, animal thralls, eating mushrooms, fairy circles, grave-robbing and the infamous game of Tug-Tug!

Also learn about Hunter Fairies, Hardcore Fairies, 3-point and 4-point spells, press-on claws, gremlin tooth weapons, vibro-master weapons, crystal blade swords and the devastating faeslayer sword!