Dilbert: The Board Game Rulebook

Table of Contents

Table of Contents

• Game Pieces
• The Goal
• Setup
• The Round
• Your Turn
  • A) Walk
  • B) Run
  • Knocked Down
  • A) Collect a Signature
  • B) Make an Office Roll
• The Boss's Turn
  • 1) Check the Projects
  • 2) Move
• Projects
  • Assignment
  • Killing Projects
• Cards
  • Consultant Cards
  • Memo Cards
  • Discarding Cards
• Gaining and Losing Happiness
• The Restrooms
• The Cubicles
• Ending the Game
• Additional Rules and Clarifications
  • How to Resolve Any Question Whatsoever
  • Beginning and End of a Turn
  • What to Do When You Can't Safely Talk
  • Project Situations
  • Project Cards
  • Memo Cards (Clarifications)
  • Heck
• Office Roll Chart

Game Pieces

• 1 Game Board
• 1 Rulebook
• 1 Six-sided Die
• 6 Stand-up Employee Figures
• 1 Stand-up Pointy-Haired Boss Figure
• 7 Plastic Stands
• 15 Glass Signature Tokens
• 70 Memo Cards
• 26 Project Cards
• 18 Consultant Cards
• 6 Employee Cards
• 18 Trait Tokens
• 17 Work Tokens
• 6 Happiness Tokens
• 6 Cubicle Tokens
• 2 Donut Tokens
• 1 Out of Order Token
• 1 Todd Token
• 1 Ted Token
• 1 Family Portrait Token
• 1 Plastic Plant Token

Note: Sometimes this game will refer to Players and sometimes it will refer to Employees. Employees are the characters in the game, such as Dilbert, Ratbert, etc. Players are the real-life people who are playing the game. So, if a card causes all "players wearing blue jeans" to lose 4 Happiness, it means that the people in real-life who are playing the game and wearing blue jeans lose 4 Happiness. On the other hand, a card that says all "male employees lose 2 Happiness" causes the players playing Dilbert, Wally, Asok, and Ratbert to lose 2 Happiness.

The Goal

With that out of the way, let us address the conditions of victory! Your job, as we all know, is stupid and pointless. You're never going to be promoted, and let's face it, you're not going anywhere else... so why try? Instead, you want to remain as happy as possible by avoiding work and tormenting your co-workers. The player with the most happiness when the Pointy-Haired Boss is transferred into upper management wins the game.

Setup

Begin by setting up the game as follows. Feel free to consult the attractive diagram on the opposite page for reference.

1. Place the board in the middle of the table and open it up. If this is the first time you've played the game, punch out the cardboard pieces and place the plastic stands on the bottom of the employee figures.

2. Shuffle the Employee cards and deal one out to each player at random. Each player then takes all of the tokens with his/her employee's picture on them (anyone playing Wally should note that he only has 2 Work Tokens instead of 3). Each player places his/her 3 Trait Tokens on his/her starting scores for Apathy, Incompetence, and Offensiveness. These scores are shown on the Employee cards.

3. Shuffle the Project deck and deal a number of Projects equal to the number of players face up into the Project spaces above the board. So, if 3 players are playing, deal Project cards into the Project #1, Project #2, and Project #3 spaces. As each Project is dealt out, employees are assigned to work on them as described under Projects, below. There will always be exactly the same number of Projects as there are players.

   After the Projects are dealt out, the top Project card of the deck is then turned face-up on the top of the deck and becomes the "Schedule." This is the next Project that will enter play when an existing Project is "killed."

4. Put the Employee figures in the Engineering office, except for Asok, who begins the game in the Men's Restroom.

5. Shuffle the Consultant deck and the Memo deck separately, then deal each player 3 Memo cards. After this is done, place the two decks on their respective spaces on the board.

6. Place the glass Signature Tokens near the play area in a pile. These will be used to cover up the signatures on the Project cards as they are collected.

7. Place the players' Happiness Tokens at 0 on the board's Happiness track. Place the Boss figure at 27 on the Happiness track.

8. The player with the worst job (Remember, "player" refers to the people playing the game in real life) goes first. He/she places his/her cubicle token on the cubicle closest to the Boss's Office in the Engineering office on the board (the cubicle that has the -5 on it). In clockwise order, every other player claims the next closest cubicle by placing his/her Cubicle Token on the appropriate cubicle.

At the end of the game, these cubicles will add or subtract points to the employees' final Happiness scores.

Note: If there are fewer than 6 players, place the unused Cubicle Tokens on the remaining cubicles (farthest from the Boss's Office) so that the sides with the empty desks are face up. These cubicles will not be used during the game.

The first player begins the game by taking his/her first turn, and play continues clockwise.

The Round

Now that we have the game properly set up, most of your work is done. You have probably already gleaned some key information just from your examination of the board and the set-up: Projects are bad, being near the Boss is bad, but hanging out in the water cooler is good. Let us then focus our attention on the details of play that will enable you to become the happiest possible employee, and crush the other players in the process.

Each player takes his/her turn in order, starting with the first player and continuing clockwise around the table. After the last player has gone, the Boss takes his turn, and a then new round begins.

Your Turn

On your turn, you:

1. Draw one Memo card and add it to your hand. If you have more than 5 cards, you must discard down to 5 cards before you can play any cards from your hand.
2. Move your piece. You may either A) Walk, or B) Run.

A) Walk

Move your employee figure a number of spaces up to or equal to your employee's Motivation (shown on your employee card). For example, Alice can move up to 10 spaces on her turn when walking. You cannot move diagonally or through the cubicle walls (red walls) that form the hallways. You cannot move through another employee in the halls unless they are knocked down (see Knocked Down, below), and you can never end your movement on another employee in the halls, even if they are knocked down. Offices count as 1 space and must be entered through a door. Any number of employees may be in the same office.

B) Run

Running can be a bit faster, but doing so risks incurring the wrath of Phil, the Lord of Insufficient Light. To run, roll the die. If you roll anything but a 6, add the number you rolled to your employee's Motivation and move as in Walk, above. If you roll a 6, move directly to Heck, lay your piece on its side (you are knocked down, as explained below) and end your turn immediately.

Note: You must always stop moving when you enter the Conference Room. In addition, you must stop moving if you enter Carol's Office from the hallway. This is noted on the board.

Knocked Down

When you are knocked down, you must Walk on your next turn, and you must spend 2 of your Motivation points to stand up. So, if your Motivation is 10, and you were knocked down the turn before, you may only move up to 8 spaces.

Finally, while you are knocked down, other employees can move through you in the halls, although they still cannot end their movement in the same space as you.

3. After moving, if you are in the halls, your turn is over. If you are in an office, however, do the following two things:

A) Collect a Signature

If there's a signature icon in the office, you may (but do not have to) take one of the unused glass tokens and place it on top of a matching signature icon on a Project. So, if you end your movement in the Conference Room (which has an icon showing three figures) you may take an unused glass token and cover up the "three figures" icon on any one Project card of your choice in play. You can do this even if you are not assigned to that Project. If this covers up the last signature on a Project card, it is immediately killed (see Projects, below) and the Project in the Schedule replaces it before you make your Office Roll (see below).

Note: you can't hold onto a signature token to use later. If you want to use it, you must use it immediately.

B) Make an Office Roll

If the office shows a die on it, you must roll on its Office Chart (found on the back cover of this book). This is called an Office Roll. Roll a die and look up the result on the Office Chart to see what happens. For example, if you end your movement in the Copy Room and roll a 3, you would look at the Copy Room chart and see: "3-4: You take the opportunity to print up some nice copies of your resume. Gain 2 Happiness." Therefore, you would gain 2 Happiness.

Some offices (such as Engineering) don't have office encounter charts, but they do have instructions on them. If the office you end your movement in has instructions on it, you must follow them.

Your turn is now over. Turn to the player on your left and say, "Your turn."

The Boss's Turn

After every player has had a turn, the Pointy-Haired Boss takes a turn. On the Boss's turn, he does two things: 1) Check the Projects, and 2) Move.

1) Check the Projects

The first thing that the Boss does on his turn is check up on each Project in play. Each Project in play, starting with Project #1, now takes effect. Most Projects cause the employees assigned to them to gain or (more likely) lose Happiness. This is indicated by a number followed by a smiling sun on the bottom of the card. So, for example, if Wally and Dilbert were assigned to Project Aardvark (which shows a -1 followed by a smiling sun) they would each lose 1 Happiness now.

There are a couple of Projects that have other effects. These are explained on the Projects themselves.

2) Move

After checking the Projects, move the Boss's figure three spaces down the Happiness Track. If the Boss now has equal or less Happiness than any employee, the game immediately ends and a winner is determined. Otherwise, a new round begins.

Projects

Projects mean work. Work is bad. To avoid work, don't get assigned to Projects. If through some misfortune you should get assigned to a Project, either get off of it as soon as possible or get it killed. Don't kid yourself by thinking you can just hang in there and complete the Project — experience will soon teach you that Projects are never completed.

Assignment

When a Project enters play, two employees are "assigned" to it. Look at the "To:" header on the Project. The two employees who best fit the description there must each put one of their "unassigned" (unused) Work Tokens on that Project to show that they are assigned to it. Once assigned to a Project, they are stuck there until the Project gets killed, or a special game effect (such as Memo cards) changes assignments.

While their Work Tokens remain on it, players assigned to a Project are that Project's "team members." If an employee's Work Tokens are all already assigned, he/she can't be assigned to any more Projects at the moment, so the next employee in line is assigned instead. In the event of a tie between two employees, the employee whose cubicle is closest to the Boss's Office is assigned to the Project.

Project Example: A Project reads "To: The two employees with the highest Apathy." The players look at the trait track to see which two employees have the highest Apathy at the moment. It turns out to be Wally (5), and Tina (4). However, all of Wally's Work Tokens are already assigned to Projects, so the next employee down the line, Dilbert (3 Apathy), is assigned instead.

Killing Projects

Each Project shows either 2 or 3 icons on it that represent signatures from the various offices in the building. If all of these signatures are placed on the Project, it is killed. To get signatures, you must end your movement in the offices that have the icons shown on the Project. Each time you do so, you may put a glass signature bead onto the Project, covering up the appropriate signature icon. When all the icons on a Project are covered, it is killed.

When an employee puts the last signature on a Project and kills it, he/she gains 2 Happiness from the satisfaction of destroying the Project. This happens whether the employee was assigned to the Project or not!

Note: Only the employee who killed the Project gains this Happiness, not all employees assigned to the Project (and the employee who killed it may not even be assigned to the Project).

A killed Project is discarded and then immediately replaced by the face-up Project on top of the Project deck (the "Schedule"). Immediately assign team members to this new Project. Then turn the next Project card in the Project deck face up to create a new Schedule, and carry on with the game.

Of course, since you can read the Schedule and see the next Project that is coming up, you should be able to avoid being assigned to it, right? Good luck with that.

Cards

Consultant Cards

If an employee goes to the Conference Room, there's a chance that a Consultant card will enter play (due to an Office Roll). If so, it stays in play, face-up, until discarded or replaced by another Consultant card. Consultant cards affect every employee/player in the game (although the Dilbert player can choose to ignore them).

Memo Cards

Memo cards tell you when they can be played. Most of them are played at the start of your turn, before you move your figure. Memo cards have lots of different effects, and you should read each one to see what it does.

An employee can never have more than 5 memo cards in his/her hand. If he/she draws his/her hand up to more than 5, he/she must immediately discard down to 5 before playing any of them.

Lastly, Memo cards cannot be played on, and do not affect, any employee in a restroom. An employee can't even play a Memo card that affects him or herself while in the restroom.

Discarding Cards

When discarding a card, place it face down on the bottom of the appropriate deck.

Gaining and Losing Happiness

When you gain Happiness, move your Happiness Token the appropriate number of spaces up the happiness track. When you lose Happiness, move your happiness token down the track. You can never have more than 27 Happiness or less than -27 Happiness.

If a player moves his or her Happiness Token higher than the Boss figure, the game does not immediately end. Keep playing until the Boss moves at the end of the round. The other players still have a chance to catch up.

The Restrooms

Only one employee can be in each restroom at a time. You cannot enter the restroom intended for employees of the opposite gender.

Remember: Memo cards cannot be played on, and do not affect, any employee in a restroom. While in a restroom, an employee can't even play a Memo card that affects him or herself.

The Cubicles

Each employee has a cubicle in Engineering. The closer to the Boss's Office it is, the more work gets dumped on his/her desk. When there's a tie to see which employees get assigned to a Project, the employee with the cubicle closer to the Boss's Office always "wins" the tie and gets assigned to the Project. Any time an employee's cubicle is moved, that employee swaps his/her Cubicle Token with the employee in the direction he/she is moving. (So, if you are moving your Cubicle Token farther from the Boss's Office, you move back one space, and the employee whose cubicle you're taking gets stuck in your old cubicle).

Additionally, at the end of the game, before a winner is announced, the players add the value of their current cubicles to their Happiness scores. So, if an employee is in the -5 cubicle, he/she loses 5 Happiness. If players don't pay enough attention to their cubicles, someone who thought he/she was winning might be suddenly in last place!

Ending the Game

The game ends only at the end of the Boss's turn. If after the Boss's figure moves, he has the same or lower Happiness than an employee, the game immediately ends. At this point no player may play Memo cards.

Calculate each employee's final Happiness by modifying their current score by their cubicle, and any other modifications (such as Plastic Plant). Note that Ratbert's special ability to reduce his Happiness loss does work at the end of the game. The employee with the highest Happiness after all modifications wins!

Additional Rules and Clarifications

If this is your first time playing, you now know everything you need to and you may skip this section. In fact, we are quite certain that the discerning and thoughtful minds that purchased this game will likely not even need to consult these clarifications. However, for the sake of completeness and with the understanding the occasional copy may be borrowed or the result of a gift, we include this section.

How to Resolve Any Question Whatsoever

Since this is a game we can likely agree that its purpose is fun and enjoyment. Therefore if any question about how to interpret rules arises, the consensus of those playing shall provide the answer. We have already established that these fine people are among the brightest that humanity has to offer by the simple fact that they are playing this game. Therefore any solution they reach is surely insightful and correct. If they are difficult and quarrelsome and cannot reach consensus, then the owner of the game is clearly right.

Beginning and End of a Turn

Some Memo cards will refer to the beginning or end of a player's turn. The beginning of a turn is the portion that happens before moving. The end of a turn is the portion that happens after moving (and making an Office Roll and collecting a signature). Note that the very first thing that can happen in a turn is the player draws a Memo card. Only after that moment may their opponents tear them to pieces.

What to Do When You Can't Safely Talk

In a situation in which a Consultant card is making life difficult and players are reluctant to read the effects of cards, the board, or Projects out loud, it is Dilbert's responsibility to read those things. Dilbert's special ability allows him to ignore Consultant cards, making him the ideal spokesperson for the group.

Project Situations

It's possible for a Project to have no Work Tokens assigned to it. That's fine... the Project just sits in limbo in its space at the top of the board.

It's possible for an employee to have two Work Tokens assigned to the same Project. This is also fine. The employee still only suffers the effects of the Project once each time the Project is checked, however.

Project Cards

If a Project card reads "No Effect" that means nothing at all happens when the Boss checks up on it. This is a great thing for those assigned to the Project. However, other employees may still try to kill the Project.

Projects that have the text "When Project is Killed:" also do nothing when the Boss checks on them. However, when that Project is killed, the effect on the card takes place.

Memo Cards (Clarifications)

If Asleep at the Wheel and The Dilbert Principle are both played, the Boss just moves his regular 3 spaces, as you would imagine.

Ted the Generic Guy just stands in the halls and blocks your path - probably roping you into endless small talk and stories about his vacation plans. For the purposes of the game he is not considered an employee: cards cannot be played on him, and he isn't called to the Conference Room by General Meeting, etc.

World's Smartest Garbage Man must be played relatively quickly after the Memo card is discarded. While there is some flexibility here, you are clearly too late if you try to play it more than a turn after the Memo card you want to take has been played.

Management Fast Track does let you cheat as much as you want; however, if you get carried away and it takes the other players more than the allotted 10 seconds to point out all of your cheating just because there was so darn much of it, then they should be allowed the extra time. It's your own fault for getting too greedy.

Heck

If an employee is moved to Heck through any special card other than "Go to Heck!" or just chooses to walk into Heck, he/she is not knocked down and doesn't automatically end his/her turn. That only occurs when rolling a 6 when running or when the "Go to Heck!" card is played.

Office Roll Chart

When you end your movement in an office with a graphic of a die in it, you must roll the six-sided die and consult the appropriate chart below.

Boss's Office

• 1-2: Listen to another one of the Boss's "motivational speeches." Swap your Apathy, Incompetence, or Offensiveness (your choice) score with another employee of your choice.
• 3-4: The Boss gives you some advice on how to work more efficiently, such as working nights and weekends. Lose 3 Happiness.
• 5-6: The Boss decides to demonstrate how powerless you are. You must perform the "I'm a Little Teapot" song (with hand gestures) or lose 10 Happiness.

Marketing

• 1: It's "Barbecue Tuesday"! They're serving unicorn. Gain 2 Happiness.
• 2-4: The voice from the well answers your questions. Swap Incompetence scores with another employee of your choice.
• 5-6: Uh oh, it's your day in the well. You are knocked down, lose 1 Happiness, and must sit under the nearest table until the start of your next turn.

Accounting

• 1-3: Oh no! You're turning into an Accounting Troll. Swap Offensiveness scores with another employee of your choice.
• 4: You've angered the Head of Accounting. To get his/her revenge, your cubicle is moved one space closer to the Boss's Office.
• 5: Money is power! The player with the most change in his/her pockets gains 2 Happiness.
• 6: You've erased the budget for an upcoming Project. You may discard the Project from the Schedule, then replace it with the top card of the Project deck.

Conference Room

• 1: You made it in time to grab the last of the donuts. Gain 2 Happiness.
• 2: The meeting drones on forever. You fall asleep. You are knocked down.
• 3-6: The company has hired a new consultant. Discard the current Consultant card (if any) and play a new one from the top of the Consultant deck.

Kitchen Area

• 1-3: You eat someone's lunch. Swap Apathy scores with another employee of your choice.
• 4-5: Your lunch was eaten. Lose 1 Happiness.
• 6: All right! Leftover going away party cake! Gain 3 Happiness.

Legal

• 1-3: Rubbing elbows with the legal department was bound to have an effect on you. Swap Offensiveness scores with another employee of your choice.
• 4-5: Your proposal is rejected and one of the corporate lawyers is suing you. Lose 2 Happiness.
• 6: Projects go here to die. You may choose to lose 5 Happiness to kill one Project of your choice.

Copy Room

• 1-2: There's a long line for copies. You are knocked down.
• 3-4: You take the opportunity to print up some nice copies of your resume. Gain 2 Happiness.
• 5-6: When no one is looking, you photocopy a signature. You may pick a signature token already on a Project, take an identical signature token from the unused pile, and place it on another Project that requires that signature.

Human Resources

• 1-2: Didn't you get the memo? All other employees besides you draw one Memo card.
• 3-5: You sneak a peek at the next week's memos. Look at the top 3 cards of the Memo deck and take one of them, then put the other 2 back on top of the Memo deck, facedown, in any order you choose.
• 6: Catbert toys with you. Do one of the following:
  • A) Stand up, wildly flap your arms, and crow like a rooster. All other players gain 1 Happiness.
  • B) Defy Catbert and lose 4 Happiness.

Sales

• 1-3: You are forced to talk to an actual customer and will never be the same again. Swap Apathy scores with another employee of your choice.
• 4-5: While in Sales, you are kept out of the loop. Discard all of your Memo cards.
• 6: Sales has promised the customer features that the product doesn't have, and that aren't humanly possible. Approvals will need to be redone. Choose a signature token on any Project and discard it.

Information Services

• 1-3: Can it be? It is! The holy grail of Information Services - a new computer! Swap Incompetence scores with another employee of your choice.
• 4-5: Mordac, the Preventer of Information Services reveals some of your darkest secrets. Show the rest of the players your hand of Memo cards.
• 6: Appealing to Mordac's evil, you enlist him in your schemes. Swap any two Work Tokens on two different Projects.